You had to know this was coming. She is the epitome of the perfect, godly woman. She is continually the one held up as our example. And we probably all have some mixed feelings towards her. On the one hand we admire her, because she is perfect. On the other hand, we secretly despise her, because it seems we can never meet the impossible standard she has set. BUT...is the standard truly unattainable? No. God did not give us this goal to discourage us. If we truly give Him full control of our lives, we can become what He has called us to be. So let's take a look at that calling...
Proverbs 31:10-31
A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
This description of the model woman is actually a mother's words to her son regarding what he should look for in a wife. (Not a hugely relevant fact, but something I didn't realize before.)
Now go back and read the passage again, this time taking note of...
Her relationships
with her husband...he has full confidence in her; brings him good (not harm) EVERY day; he arises and calls her blessed; he considers her to be the best woman on earth
with her children...they arise and call her blessed
with fellow workers
the poor...she opens her arms to them/extends her hands to them
her Lord
Her responsibilities...selects wool and flax; brings food from afar; gets up while it's still dark; provides food for her family and her servants; considers a field and buys it; reinvests her earnings in a vineyard; trades; clothes her family; makes bed coverings; makes linen garments to sell; supplies merchants with sashes; watches over the affairs of her household
Her qualities...good financial sense, strong arms, clothed with strength and dignity, not concerned about the days to come, faithful instruction is on her tongue
Her achievements...a good provider, financial success, a good manager
Her appearance...clothed in fine linen and purple
Her behavior...noble, works with eager hands, sets about her work vigorously, speaks with wisdom, does not eat the bread of idleness
What she reaps...praise from her family, financial gain, no worries, praise at the city gate
Some questions to ask yourself:
Am I a blessing to my husband?
What things do I need to work on?
What will I do (specifically) to improve those things?
A quote from the author:
If I achieve everything else but fail as a wife and mother, there will be nothing which will ever compensate for that failure because my primary calling as a woman, if God calls me to marriage, is to be a virtuous wife and mother.
SUMMING IT UP:
God has called us all to be just like this amazing woman...and we CAN do it by HIS power.
SHARE:
Share one thing that you're planning to improve and how you're planning to improve it. (And if there's anything I didn't catch in the Scripture, go ahead and point it out--we all stand to benefit from your contribution!)
4 comments:
The woman described in these verses is a smart/wise multitasker and decision maker. It makes sense that the husband will have the confidence to trust her with these things as his helper. It seems like a good conflict resolution if we play our proper roles.
From a worldly perspective I get scared about growing old, getting wrinkled etc...because, you know, you want to always look good for your husband, so this verse helps remind me that when following this examle, my husband will be pleased and God will be honored.
As far as what to improve upon...to live as though these verses were taught to my husband before he married me and strive to meet this expectation.
Thanks for the insight, Becca.
Some of the things that struck me most were her efficient use of time (gets up early, stays up late), her ALWAYS being a blessing to her husband, and the faithful instruction being always on her tongue.
I think I work hard, but I don't honestly use EVERY second that I could be...and I don't think I have the drive she exhibits. I'm not sure how to improve on that other than through prayer and by reminding myself that's what I'm called to. Controlling my tongue is forever a problem which, again, is going to take some prayer and accountability to others. I don't doubt that I am a blessing to Matt most of the time, but I know I can be very disrespectful and kind of a pain in the neck at other times. I think continually having this example before me (maybe putting a few sticky note reminders around the house) will help me focus on ALWAYS respecting and blessing my husband and doing all I can to make his life wonderful.
The wise use of my time has become a stumbling block for me since I left the workforce to become a stay at home mommy. I was sooooo organized at work, and yet, I didn't bring that home with me. I don't know why. Time is definitely the thing that gets me about This Woman. How does she have the strength to work from morning until night? I pretty much collapse into bed every night without an ounce of energy to spare. I've tried flylady (ask Janet R. at church, Karisa what that is), using a planner both electronically and on paper, a whiteboard on the fridge, etc.
I think when it comes down to it, this Proverbs 31 woman was a GODLY WOMAN and had HIS strength coursing through her life! That has to be the key!
Good point, Stephanie. We are so finite. We cannot accomplish anything in our own strength. But when we rely on HIS strength, we can accomplish anything to which He calls us.
I've been reflecting the last couple days...and I really don't have any hard feelings toward this wonderful Prov. 31 woman. She's great, and I don't hate her for it. I really do just like her and want to be like her. ;)
AND as I discussed her with Matt, I realized that a huge part of why I fall short is selfishness. I don't put my family and my work first all the time, because I tend to focus on making sure my needs/wants/wishes are met.
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