#4--Do you rely on methods or on the Holy Spirit to change your child's heart? Do you even think about heart change, or are you consumed only with getting them to obey?
I don't think I depend much on methods, but I tend to expect my children to change themselves more than I depend on the Holy Spirit to change them. And yes, I still struggle with focusing too much on outward behavior versus heart change.
I think I was initially trusting methods (mostly because that was my education!). My mind first started to open (just a squeak) when I read "Don't Make Me Count to Three", but understanding POURED down on my when I read "I Can Change". "Give Them Grace" is continuing to increase my understanding and make me more and more consciously aware...making it more evident in the way I live. Like you, I think I do still put a heavy weight on my children and expect them to "shape up" because I've disciplined them. As God uses the wisdom in these good books, I am more quickly corrected in my thinking. It's becoming much more of a habit for me to realize and to discuss with Mattaya. (We often talk about WHAT the struggle is, WHETHER she can fix it on her own, WHO CAN help her, WHO WILL change her heart, and HOW we can talk to Him and ask for His forgiveness and help.) As that becomes more of a habit, I find that my mind and mouth don't go straight for the blaming and guilt-tripping.
2 comments:
I don't think I depend much on methods, but I tend to expect my children to change themselves more than I depend on the Holy Spirit to change them. And yes, I still struggle with focusing too much on outward behavior versus heart change.
I think I was initially trusting methods (mostly because that was my education!). My mind first started to open (just a squeak) when I read "Don't Make Me Count to Three", but understanding POURED down on my when I read "I Can Change". "Give Them Grace" is continuing to increase my understanding and make me more and more consciously aware...making it more evident in the way I live. Like you, I think I do still put a heavy weight on my children and expect them to "shape up" because I've disciplined them. As God uses the wisdom in these good books, I am more quickly corrected in my thinking. It's becoming much more of a habit for me to realize and to discuss with Mattaya. (We often talk about WHAT the struggle is, WHETHER she can fix it on her own, WHO CAN help her, WHO WILL change her heart, and HOW we can talk to Him and ask for His forgiveness and help.) As that becomes more of a habit, I find that my mind and mouth don't go straight for the blaming and guilt-tripping.
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