I found this quote to be very insightful: "We tell them that making mommy or daddy happy by being good is the goal of life, thereby turning them into people who are enslaved to the opinions and approval of others and always hungering for more. And we instill within them the drive to prove themselves better than others, whether that's through being very good or being very bad."
I would really appreciate your prayers--I understand and agree wholeheartedly with gospel-centered parenting, but I am having SUCH a hard time putting it into practice.
Nicole, you're not alone, and my prayers are with you! Knowing something, applying it, and practicing it are all very different things. Thankfully we have a good God! He can work in the hearts of our children in spite of our failings, AND He can work in us to produce obedience just as He does our children. My pride hurts when I fail, but that pain reminds me that I can't do it and that CHRIST CAN. Anyway...
The whole chapter struck me, but I can choose 2 things that are still ringing a week later. ;) #1: "If not rooted in gratitude for God's love for us in Christ, morality is deadlier to the soul than immorality." This gave great gravity to the obedience = righteousness tendencies we see in our culture (and, for many of us, in our own upbringing, which often is our default). It made me realize how important it is to train my mind and test my thoughts and words so that my children are aware of their need for a Savior. #2: "...both his obedience and his disobedience are occasions for thankfulness to God." I think this could transform my attitude toward my children. Instead of being happy and sweet when they're obedient then scowling and grumpy when they're disobedient, I should be making the most of every opportunity to point them to Christ and to "sing" HIS praises.
You're right, these questions (though thought provoking) don't leave much room for discussion.
Something that stuck with me is that we desire to be called 'good' and how we can feed into that with what we say. I am really going to have to change up my vocabulary. Though I am glad for the various examples and applications she shares, any ideas on what to say instead of "Good Job" or "Good Girl" when the situation isn't ideal for a lengthy response?
I don't think I have a brilliant answer, Valerie, but I'll take a stab at it. Maybe something more along the lines of, "Praise God! He helped you share!" or "Mattaya I saw you sharing! I am so thankful to see God working in your heart and helping you share your things." Still more words than "good girl", though. I think later in the book she gets down to the nitty gritty specific examples of what we can say.
5 comments:
I found this quote to be very insightful: "We tell them that making mommy or daddy happy by being good is the goal of life, thereby turning them into people who are enslaved to the opinions and approval of others and always hungering for more. And we instill within them the drive to prove themselves better than others, whether that's through being very good or being very bad."
I would really appreciate your prayers--I understand and agree wholeheartedly with gospel-centered parenting, but I am having SUCH a hard time putting it into practice.
Nicole, you're not alone, and my prayers are with you! Knowing something, applying it, and practicing it are all very different things. Thankfully we have a good God! He can work in the hearts of our children in spite of our failings, AND He can work in us to produce obedience just as He does our children. My pride hurts when I fail, but that pain reminds me that I can't do it and that CHRIST CAN. Anyway...
The whole chapter struck me, but I can choose 2 things that are still ringing a week later. ;)
#1: "If not rooted in gratitude for God's love for us in Christ, morality is deadlier to the soul than immorality." This gave great gravity to the obedience = righteousness tendencies we see in our culture (and, for many of us, in our own upbringing, which often is our default). It made me realize how important it is to train my mind and test my thoughts and words so that my children are aware of their need for a Savior.
#2: "...both his obedience and his disobedience are occasions for thankfulness to God." I think this could transform my attitude toward my children. Instead of being happy and sweet when they're obedient then scowling and grumpy when they're disobedient, I should be making the most of every opportunity to point them to Christ and to "sing" HIS praises.
Yeah, #2 is something I really desire to see in my parenting. And I am beginning to see hints of it--all praise to God!
You're right, these questions (though thought provoking) don't leave much room for discussion.
Something that stuck with me is that we desire to be called 'good' and how we can feed into that with what we say. I am really going to have to change up my vocabulary. Though I am glad for the various examples and applications she shares, any ideas on what to say instead of "Good Job" or "Good Girl" when the situation isn't ideal for a lengthy response?
Overall, I really enjoyed this chapter!
I don't think I have a brilliant answer, Valerie, but I'll take a stab at it. Maybe something more along the lines of, "Praise God! He helped you share!" or "Mattaya I saw you sharing! I am so thankful to see God working in your heart and helping you share your things." Still more words than "good girl", though. I think later in the book she gets down to the nitty gritty specific examples of what we can say.
Post a Comment