GOING DEEP
Carolyn writes that women are "generally weaker in exhibiting an affectionate love." Have you seen evidence of this in your marriage? If so, in what ways?
What sin most commonly robs you of a tender love for your husband (anger, bitterness, criticism, pride, selfishness, fear, laziness, etc.)? What are the warning signs? How can you "keep your heart" from this sin?
As you read this chapter, did you discover--like Michelle--that other people or things have become more important to you than your husband? Who/what are they? Why do you think this is so?
In this chapter Carolyn asks the question, "How can I, as a wife, bring honor to the gospel?" Given your present situation, how would you answer that question?
2 comments:
Yes, I do tend to approach as a to-do list rather than with passion and enjoyment.
I confess my sins of bitterness (at times), criticism and selfishness. I am guilty of all, but I tend to repeat those sins most often. If I hold fast to the truth that I am but dust perhaps I can view my role through Christ.
At times I've put Matthew after other things. This is especially difficult for me the first couple of months after our girls were born. Matthew is my best friend though, so I do love spending time with him.
I can bring honor to the gospel by having joy in all my circumstances, people, and things, and putting my husband before all else.
Yeah, I can definitely identify with the being weaker in exhibiting an affectionate love, and I would definitely say that Matt has done better at that than I have the entire time we've known each other. We both just assumed that it was our personalities and the ways we were raised...interesting that Mahaney sees it as a gender thing.
All of those sins, except fear, describe me pretty well. :( I'm not sure there's really any warning signs to speak of, but I think that if I disallowed those sins (which are generally outcomes of my negative emotions), meaning that I wouldn't allow them to take root in my heart...if I just told them that I wanted to love God and love/respect my husband instead...that might help. Maybe. I think it mostly boils down to heart and thought problems. If my heart is right with Christ and I am taking every thought captive and making them obedient to Christ, these sins won't stand a chance.
I think I've put my daughter ahead of my husband...and maybe even myself a bit (I feel exhausted from obsessing about my daughter all day and need some ME time). I think it's a natural occurrence that I haven't guarded against. It's a motherly instinct and a selfish instinct. And I've been battling it since I realized it.
I think I can bring honor to the gospel by living a changed life. Christ is my Savior. By His grace, I'm no longer chained to these sins. By His power, I can refuse to commit them. I can live a life that pleases and glorifies Him. And that is ultimately what will benefit my husband and daughter more than anything else I can do or strive to do in my own power.
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