WHAT'CHA THINK?
Give some examples of popular but unbiblical perceptions of what love is.
In what ways can we be wrongly influenced by these ideas?
What does Scripture say about how we are to love our husbands?
Read the quote from Charles Spurgeon on page 39.
He who grows in grace remembers that he is but dust, and he therefore does not expect his fellow Christians to be anything more. He overlooks ten thousand of their faults, because he knows his God overlooks twenty thousand in his own case. He does not expect perfection in the creature, and, therefore, he is not disappointed when he does not find it.
How does a realization of Christ's mercy to us--in spite of our sins and weaknesses--affect our love for our husbands?
5 comments:
I think one of the love ideas in today's culture include that love is a feeling. That can even affect those of us who know better. During our rough patch after Mattaya was born (but not JUST then), I didn't "feel" in love with Matt. In fact, I didn't feel anything kind toward Matt. I really thought it was over for our marriage. Not that I thought about divorce, but I was sure all the good feeling in love days were gone and that we'd never be happy together again. If I wasn't a Christian and I believed in divorce, I probably also would have fallen prey to the misconception that "falling out of love" is a justifiable reason for divorcing my spouse. Although we know better than to think love is a feeling, I think the culture does sneak into our thought patterns sometimes. Scripture clearly tells us to love our husbands in a submissive, respectful, tender way.
I'm thinking the Spurgeon quote should be tattooed on my forearm. It's so good for me to read this, and it's so HARD for me to live this way. My shameful pride is forever my downfall! I am critical by [sin] nature, and I tend to pick everyone and everything apart piece by piece, nailing each imperfection. If I was constantly meditating upon the grace of Christ and the realization that I am SO in need of His grace, I would be less inclined to be picking "specks" out of everyone else's eyes. I would be a more forgiving person. I wouldn't continually make Matt aware of his shortcomings. I would let go of grievances immediately. Our marriage would be happier (as would a lot of other people I know!).
One popular but biblical perception of love is buying someone's love with material possessions. That is one my of "love languages" I love giving gifts, but that is not Matthew's "love language" This can be a challenge for me at times. He has improved immensely on giving according to my love language! I'm not sure how I rate though :(
Scripture says to love our husbands with an phileo love. A love this is tender, affectionate and passionate with enjoyment and respect.
What a good reminder of the quote. Last night I informed Matthew that I am having trouble determining if I'm his helper or his maid. I explained that I don't have time to pick up his shirt, which missed the hamper by 2 inches, and turn it right side out. I can be very ugly! But I guess I have time to check my email, daily. I may need to re-evaluate my priority in order to do Matthew good (Prov 31)
I'm right there with you. I think we have to grow into the mindset that we were CREATED for THEM...that our lives are essentially supposed to be about serving them and making their lives lovely. Kind of hard to me to do when I'm obsessed with the fact that his life is already 50 times easier than mine! I get so focused on what I have to do and what he isn't doing that I completely neglect the charge God has given me.
It's funny you should mention the turning inside out of shirts! That has been something that has grated on me for a long time. And finally I told him I wasn't going to do it. That it was his job. And then we started this study, and I realized that I was just being a stick-in-the-mud. It's not that it takes a magnificent effort or an ungodly amount of time to do it...I just didn't want to have to do it because he's a big boy and should do it himself. All my personal feelings aside, I realized that it's a very small way for me to serve him. To put his needs ahead of my preferences. To humble myself (definitely not my strong point).
I'm right there with you. I think we have to grow into the mindset that we were CREATED for THEM...that our lives are essentially supposed to be about serving them and making their lives lovely. Kind of hard to me to do when I'm obsessed with the fact that his life is already 50 times easier than mine! I get so focused on what I have to do and what he isn't doing that I completely neglect the charge God has given me.
It's funny you should mention the turning inside out of shirts! That has been something that has grated on me for a long time. And finally I told him I wasn't going to do it. That it was his job. And then we started this study, and I realized that I was just being a stick-in-the-mud. It's not that it takes a magnificent effort or an ungodly amount of time to do it...I just didn't want to have to do it because he's a big boy and should do it himself. All my personal feelings aside, I realized that it's a very small way for me to serve him. To put his needs ahead of my preferences. To humble myself (definitely not my strong point).
Sorry! I don't know why that posted twice! I really didn't mean to say it twice. ;)
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